In a lifetime the average person cries 121 pints of tears.

25 04 2007

‘I saw him yesterday. We left the refuge early in the morning. I wanted to get to the post office early like, before the queues started. Myra was bawling in her buggy. She wanted to walk but it was lashing and I didnae want her to end up soaked. There’s little enough chance to get your washing done in that place.

I’d cashed my book for my child benefit and we were just on our way round to the Co-op to get some odds and ends. Anyway. Just as we passed Petrrucci’s I saw him.’

‘And how did that make you feel?’ said the counsellor.

‘Scared. Ye’ ken? My legs felt like they’d turned into pipe cleaners or something. I thought I might just topple right over.’

‘Uh-huh. And did he see you?’

‘Naw. I don’t think so. We ducked into the cafe. With Myra in the buggy and everything. I just scooped her up and asked the guy if we could use the toilets and he said aye so I ran through to the ladies with her and we just hid. Must’ve been in there for twenty minutes like. I don’t know what the guy must’ve thought. Probably thought I was a junkie shooting up or something, we were in there so long.’

The counsellor nodded. ‘And now Helen. What about now?’

Helen looked at her feet for a moment. The sides of her left boot was starting to split from the sole and she wriggled her foot, watching the hole open and close before she said. ‘Angry. I felt angry. Why should he still be able to swan around like he owns the place?

And I’m pissed off at myself too. I wanted to go over there. So much I wanted to say. Not straight away like. My mind went blank. But then we came out and he was gone and I thought shit. I’ve blown it. There was my chance to really tell him. To say -look. Look at this wee girl here. This is what your missing out on…’

The tears came now. She pulled her hands up trying to cover her face. Trying to wipe them away but there were too many of them. ‘I’m sorry’ she kept saying over and over, in between tears and the heaving sobs she wouldn’t quite give into.

The counsellor passed her a tissue. Said nothing. Let her cry.

(400 words)

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3 responses

28 04 2007
tender [hooligan]

Hello! I wondered where you’d gone and I was going to drop you a little email. I hope that all is well with you. x

29 04 2007
puddlejumper

Hey hooligan,

Nice to see you. I’d been lying low for a while. Just posting stuff up here from my course as a kind of backup system in case my PC dies.

Everything is good tho thanks. Bumped off my main blog. Was taking up too much of my time. But still travelling thru the blogsphere now and then.

Hope you are well too?

x

30 04 2007
tender [hooligan]

Hey! Yes, I saw that you’d got rid of the main blog and that’s why I worried.

All is good here – busy and a little stressed but generally good. 🙂 xx

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